The Simply Organized - Wedding Planning and Event Planning in the Pacific Northwest - Bellingham, Washington

Your Guide to a Flawless Wedding

Read All About Wedding and Party Ideas

Filed under: Groom & Groomsmen

10 Tips for Dealing with Cold Feet

Feelings of anxiety and concern are completely normal prior to a wedding. One or both members of the couple may experience the cold feet phenomenon that overshadows them and causes them to become concerned over their upcoming wedding. Usually this feeling is not a cause for concern and it passes naturally on its own as your realize that you are more excited than anxious but the following are a few tips for helping to work through your cold feet issues:

Bridal Couple With Mt. Baker in Background1. Try to relax and realize that this happens to a lot of people in your situation. This is important because many people will get caught up in believing that these feelings mean that they shouldn't go through with their wedding. Realizing that your feelings are completely naturally will help to waylay these fears.

2. After you calm down, get out a piece of paper and pen and just start listing all of your anxiety. This is particularly helpful because you may have a great deal of trouble doing this which is significant because it helps you to realize that you don't really have anything to worry about. The other scenario is that you may find that you have a long list of fears and may be amused to find that none of them are really logical. Sometimes seeing your concerns listed on paper helps to alleviate them.

3. Talk to your partner about your feelings. Many people are hesitant to do this because they are embarrassed about their feelings but talking to your loved one can really help in this situation. Chances are that they know you better than anyone and can assist you working through these things. They may even confess similar feelings which helps you to realize that cold feet are completely natural.

4. If you feel that talking to your partner will further exacerbate the problem consider talking to a close friend instead. Just talking about your anxiety can help to relieve the tension. Once you verbalize your fears you are likely to find that they begin to dissipate and you start to relax and look forward to your upcoming wedding.

5. Talk to a friend who has recently married to get their perspective on married life. They will be able to tell you how well things are going for them which should ease your fears about the transition to married life. They will also be able to assure you that they had similar feelings of anxiety and that there is no cause for concern.

6. Try making two lists: one of your fears and one of your reasons for marrying your partner. Once you make these lists you will most likely see that the reasons that you want to get married far outweigh your fears. Sometimes just seeing this on paper is very beneficial to eliminating cold feet.

7. Writing a love letter to your partner can be another way to combat the feelings of cold feet. This process gives you a chance to ponder all the reasons why you love your partner. Expressing your feelings in a love letter can refocus your attention on what you love most about your partner and make you realize that the small things you are worrying about are really inconsequential.

8. Going through old photos of you and your partner can also help to ease the anxiety of cold feet. Looking through pictures from your courtship is a great way to remind you of all the fun times you and your partner have had together and will help you realize that there are still lots of fun times together in store for the two of you.

9. Spend some time away from the planning process. Wedding anxiety is often spurred on by other problems such as the stresses of planning your wedding. This stress can put you on edge and make problems seem bigger than they really are. Take a trip to a spa or spend an afternoon participating in an activity you enjoy to take your mind off of all the details that are still remaining.

10. Finally, if after examining the reason for your cold feet, you come to realize that there are serious issues at hand it is advisable to postpone the wedding until these issues can be resolved. If your concerns are valid and your relationship is potentially harmful either physically or emotionally you may need to seek professional help. Issues such as abuse, addiction and betrayal can be reasons to cancel a wedding and discontinue the relationship.

Cold feet or feelings of anxiety over your impending wedding are perfectly normal. Many brides and grooms have these feelings and in most cases they are completely harmless. It is, however, important to trust your instincts and if there is something seriously wrong with your relationship, it may be wise to cancel the wedding.

Copyright © 2007-2011  All rights reserved.